Befriending your Inner Carrie
Or, how to be your BIG self!
With the upcoming release of And Just Like That, I got to thinking about the Sex and the City girls and an incident that occurred two summers ago. Another of my 40+ friends and I went for a drink at the local watering hole. While seated at the bar, we were approached by four (substantially) younger men. After the introductions, they invited us to join them in their booth for cocktails and repartee. At one point, our playful conversation turned to an assessment by the guys of which of the Sex and the City characters — Carrie, Samantha, Charlotte or Miranda — my friend and I represented. Now, I have dark brown hair, brown eyes and despite the fact that I was wearing a navy linen strapless dress, wedge espadrilles and a yellow cashmere cardigan — PURE Charlotte — I was pegged as Samantha. The guys must have seen something more than what was going on on the surface. Way to go, guys!
For those of you who may not be as familiar with the Sex and the City series/movies , let me break it down for you. Despite being a member of the New York glitterati, fashion- and love-focused Carrie is perhaps, the most well balanced and easily relatable character to everyday women. She’s quirky and fun. Samantha is the oldest member of the cast and represents the independent, sexually confident businesswoman. Charlotte is the most conventional of the four, having grown up in Connecticut. She plays the quintessential homecoming queen, searching for her “knight in shining armor” over the course of the series. And Miranda is the bright and career-minded lawyer. Her cynicism about love and life helps temper Charlotte’s blind optimism.
It’s long been my contention that the four SATC characters represent different aspects of the same woman. We are complex beings whose moods vary from day to day, hour to hour, heck, sometimes minute to minute! The SATC girls definitely reflect this diversity! In order to maintain healthy, balanced lives we need to embrace and care for our whole self. So, here’s an exercise to try. Sit for a minute and consider which of the four SATC characters you’re most like. What’s your predominant personality? Are you:
Carrie — flirty, fun, quirky, relatively well balanced, light-hearted
Samantha — independent, clever, sexually confident, creative, business-minded
Charlotte — conventional, rule-oriented, nice, loyal, seeker of emotional love
Miranda — bright, cynical, driven, athletic, work-focused
Okay, now that you’ve ID-ed your main personality type, take a look at the other characters. Can you see aspects of them in you, too? Probably so, right? That night in the bar, I was looking conventional but must have been giving off an aura of independence or sexual confidence the guys picked up on. Chances are, I was channeling some of Carrie’s fun flirtation and Miranda’s wittiness, too!
In today’s fast-paced, over-programmed world, taking care of the different sides of our nature takes some consciousness and effort. When you’re not in a relationship, it’s easy to forget to flex those flirtatious/sexually confident muscles. Or, if you’re at home with the kids, your inner businesswoman may be getting short shrift! So, what’s a woman to do?
Well, just recognizing and remaining aware of the varied sides of yourself helps you address those needs. And, if you want to build on that, cool! If you’re looking to rev up your flirty side and don’t have a someone around (or in mind) to “target,” start with the bagger at Trader Joe’s or the person who sells you your gas. What you focus on expands. So, if you’re concentrating on fun, you’ll create more of it in your life! Suddenly you’ll find you have a little bounce in your step and maybe you’ll notice that you’re attracting a bit more attention from those you’re looking to attract. Now, there’s something you can raise a Cosmo to!
If, on the other hand, you’ve left the business world to tend to your three-year-old, the CEO in you might be feeling a little neglected. Let’s be honest, the roles are clearer and it’s a lot easier to know you’re doing a good job at work than it is at home. When you’re a mom, there’s no “employee of the month” award, no priority parking spot to recognize your good work and definitely no annual review. I can remember making lists of all I’d gotten done at home during the day in order to conjure up that sense of accomplishment I felt after a full day at the office. If that’s you, maybe it’s time to volunteer for a position at school, church or in your local community. Find a way to stimulate that inner worker bee and associate yourself with others who will appreciate what you’re contributing and give you positive feedback.
The point is, in order to feel whole, you need to honor all of you. Be BIG! Not Mr. Big, just BIG. As in, as much as you can be. Celebrate all of you! Take Manhattan (or wherever you are) by storm!
So, as Carrie would say, “we couldn’t help but wonder…” which side of you needs attention? And how are you going to help her get her mojo back?
